Status

Is your furniture plotting against you?

Disclaimer: Everything stated below is in relation to *most* jobs. Of course, if you’re in any industry focused on beauty or fashion, this will not apply to you.

 

Hello, Precious Readers!

 

Thank you to everyone who participated or visited the Night Owl Reviews Spring Fling Scavenger Hunt this year. It was a joy to be a part of it, and I’ve already been notified of the winners. I hope you were one of them!

 

Yesterday, I came across an article suggesting that modern-day office design is subtly sexist. I won’t go into details, you can read the article for yourselves. If you’re a longtime blog follower, you know that I used to be a massive workaholic. The stereotypical office drone commuting for long hours, sitting at a desk, and staring at a computer. As a writer, I still do this, but it’s a desk space of my choosing (my home), and I’m surrounded by things and style that bring me peace of mind, not what an architect and interior designer decided that I needed in my life.

 

Also, I’m old enough to remember the days when cubicles were first popularized and ceiling-to-floor length walls separated each individual by those fuzzy, gray, sound softening panels. After a few decades of this style, scientists decided that the top-to-bottom walls were unhealthy for humans by causing isolation, depression, and other physical and mental illnesses. Thus, a new era was born: the day the walls came down.

 

Those in the current workforce or just entering are probably more familiar with employees working in spaces where cubicle walls barely reach the average-height-adult’s sitting position shoulder height, if there are walls at all. Desks are also “open concept” providing a reduction in “visual noise,” often with table legs instead of solid panels covering the person from the waist down. There are no longer walls or dividers, but open glass to provide as much natural light as possible and a transparent view to encourage accountability and teamwork.

office

 

While I don’t fully agree with the article regarding women feeling the need to make additional effort beyond their normal routine, I will point out that open concept does not necessarily keep women’s needs in mind.

 

The article made me think back on how I would dress myself. I dressed according to the general office policies, but didn’t make any additional effort with hair and makeup unless I felt like it. I spent most of my life as a tomboy, so if someone didn’t think it was “feminine” enough for me to not style my hair or wear makeup, tough cookies for them. If someone judged me on it — that’s creating a hostile environment. If someone is judging me on my looks to meet the judging person’s idea of “attractiveness” — that’s sexual harassment. I have confidence enough in myself to know that my looks are no one else’s concern except mine. If someone is using my looks against me and stifling my career because I’m not “feminine” or “pretty enough” — that’s sexism.

 

For anyone judged based on someone else’s opinion about your looks and/or are being rated by someone else’s idea of an idiotic scale of “attractiveness,” I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to put up with that. AT ALL.

 

Having said that, I’ve worked several different styles of jobs, which came with several different styles of environments. This includes the “open concept” desk space. As a woman, society is *crawling* into the 21st Century where our needs are actually thought of in a respected and conscientious manner as human beings, but we have a looong way to go. Once in a while I like to wear skirts, whether long or short. However, whenever I leave my home and I’m wearing a shorter skirt, I have to think if my legs will be covered by the furniture or not. I am not a thin person. It is highly uncomfortable to cross my legs. Doctors have proven that crossing your legs is bad for your posture, your hip and knee alignment, and can cause long-term back problems. I tend to cross my ankles, but doing that for long periods of time (say ~6.5 hours of actual desk time excluding lunches and times to get up and go to other areas and walking) is also highly uncomfortable. This also doesn’t negate the fact that if a skirt’s hem is anywhere close to your knee-length, or shorter, if there isn’t enough fabric to politely tuck between our knees, we run the risk of accidentally flashing our underthings to people. Does this make sense to you? For women to be considered “feminine” we should wear dresses or skirts, but skirts don’t always function to allow women to sit comfortably? This has never made sense to me. Probably why I mostly stick to pants.

 

I have a secret for anyone who has never worn a dress or skirt before: women like to sit without having to cross our legs! There’s also the issue of “manspreading” on seats, but that’s a different discussion: In short, please don’t “manspread” on public transportation or spaces. It’s rude, disgusting, and completely encroaching on personal bubbles. If it’s a public space, that means it’s PUBLIC and the space DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU. Women’s personal space is a HUMAN RIGHT, not a privilege for someone else to take away. It is not for anyone else to decide where that boundary line is except for that individual woman.

 

A simple “love shout out” to any restaurant or office space that actually covers a person from the waist down either by long-length tablecloths or desk design, respectfully. I love you. Thank you.

 

Long before reading the article, I binge-watched seasons of Cupcake Wars* on Hulu* and remember thinking how badly I felt for the female judges for the show. Being on TV, the host and judges must look flawless (and do! You’re fabulous!), but that often includes being up-to-date on fashion. Add in the judges table does not have a front panel, and I sadly empathized episode after episode, season after season, with the female judges. Realizing for a majority of the show, the women are dressed in dresses and skirts at, or slightly above, the knee. While the men sit comfortably with their feet at hip-width, their shoes resting on the floor or bar stool shoe ledge (not quite sure what that’s called, but I hope you understand what I’m talking about), the ladies either sit with their legs crossed the entire time or perch on the edge of their seat at an angle to keep their waist from the camera’s (and America’s) view.

table

 

The show is only 22 minutes long of air time, but if you think about the actual amount of time spent on that set for each episode: filming time, the prep for each round, the length of each actual round (some are 2 hours), cleanup after each round, the judges deliberation time, etc. That’s a FULL DAY. I imagine easily OVER 12 HOURS OF SITTING ON THAT CHAIR. With your legs crossed. Hoping you don’t have a “paparazzi” moment on (inter)national television.

 

Does that sound comfortable to you? Not to me. My back, hips, and knees ache at the thought of it.

 

I wear pants and shorts so I can be comfortable. Not to please anyone else. I wear skirts and dresses to please myself if I feel like wearing one. Not to please anyone else. However, watching these women try to emulate being comfortable while constantly wondering if their underwear is flashed on camera, all I could think of were times I dressed and fretted over what I was wearing — if my destination would be skirt/dress friendly… if I should even bother wearing a skirt or dress so I didn’t have to deal with that headache.

 

One part of the article that I found rang true was the idea of privacy. In an open office plan, if you need to make a private phone call, there is no reprieve. You often have to leave the building. My last corporate job, they had the right idea, and I’m grateful for it. While they believed in an open floor plan, they had created one-person, door-closing, private “pods.” These were workspaces if an employee needed to conference call or do virtual training with clients. Although it was created with the intention of eliminating background noise during training, it also allowed a temporary private space to talk without the background sounds of, “Whoo! Did you catch the Seahawks last night!” or “Did you hear about X lately?” or “Who took my lunch from the refrigerator? It had my name on it!” It had a second benefit of, if an employee was caring for dependents and received an unexpected call from their dependent, they could take the call quickly without divulging their personal and private information to the whole office.

 

 

Overall, I want you to know that I like open-concept offices. I think they inspire creativity, collaboration, teamwork, and provides a bright work environment. However, if you plan to have this design, it is critical to have a few “office pods” available for people. Make the desks have a front panel for privacy and comfort for your employees (if they want it). Also, in an ideal world, people wouldn’t be judged on their looks for their careers. Don’t get me wrong: I do believe in a required level of personal hygiene and gender neutral dress codes that apply to everyone.

 

*Not a sponsor.

Image

Special Announcement: COVER REVEAL for MISSING YOU (a Roxy Summers Mystery #3)

Omigosh!

I can’t believe it!

It’s here!

IT’S HERE!

 

Missing You (a Roxy Summers Mystery #3) has a brand new cover, and it’s AWESOME! Ever since I saw the preview a few days ago, I’ve been completely in love with it and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I’ve been (excitedly and impatiently) waiting to get the OK from my publisher to share the cover with you, and TODAY IS THE DAY! You are the first ones to see it! My Precious Readers who’ve been with me since before I was published. I haven’t even posted to my Facebook Group yet, but shh! don’t tell them, okay? They’ll get their own special announcement later today.

 

As what has now become commonplace for all of my books (completely accidentally), Missing You is releasing in the complete opposite season the characters are experiencing in the story. While it’s ramping up for Summer in the Real World, in the fictional world it’s winter; but, I digress.

 

The cover… Oh, the cover!

Cover - MY

 

I love it. I love it so much. Yes, that is a moose on the cover. The cold wintry scene is leaving me with chills. Chills! (Have you paid attention to the hints I’ve been dropping these last few months?)

 

All I can say is, welcome to my fictional town of Ptarmigan, Alaska! I don’t know if you are aware, but I’ve been to Alaska and would LOVE to go back, anytime. Living in the Pacific Northwest, I already have the appropriate winter gear, and was toasty warm and dry.

 

Granted, it was a 7-day cruise, but ever since that trip, my husband, Pilot and I have dreamed of going back. Perhaps one day driving there from our Washington home and staying. Although I tend to be more of a desert lizard, loving that dry heat weather, Pilot is happiest when temps are no higher than 65 degrees. I don’t get it, and he doesn’t get me when it comes to weather. One thing we both agree on: we hate hot humid weather.

 

In other news, I’ve heard from my editor, and it’s going to be ANY DAY NOW when I finally receive edits back. I’ll make any necessary corrections, and then SEND IT TO THE MINI-MASSES for a Beta Reader phase.

 

Want to be a beta reader? Email me at katherinebacher@gmail.com!

 

Final announcement, a reminder that today is the LAST DAY to participate in Night Owl Romance’s Spring Fling Scavenger Hunt! It’s an opportunity to win free books from 35+ authors, myself included! I’ve been on the comment board and responded directly to readers with their comments and questions. You should drop a line over there too! I’d love to hear from you.

ShowcaseGraphic_SpringFling2018

Join the hunt here TODAY: https://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Blog/Articles/Spring-Fling-2018-by-Web-Hunt

– KB


Haven’t read the Roxy Summers Mystery SeriesYou have time to catch up!
Start with Capture Me and meet Roxy in a case of cat-and-mouse for a grand Seattle adventure! Then, travel with Roxy to sunny Los Angeles for a food competition to die for in her sequel novel, Crush On You! Roxy’s third book, Missing You releases in June 2018. Keep an eye out on my bookshelf page for pre-order links closer to the release date!

Blog - Book Banner

Get your copies today!
Katherine Bacher on Amazon
Katherine Bacher on Barnes and Noble


Are we connected? No? Well let’s do that!

Find Katherine Bacher on Twitter
Find Katherine Bacher on Instagram
Find Katherine Bacher on Facebook
(…and join her FB Group: Katherine Bacher’s Happy Hour!)
Find Katherine Bacher on Trifecta Publishing House

Aside

Avengers: Infinity War I, a spoiler-free review

PROS
If ever there was a better time in cinema to have a culmination of multiple storylines, characters, and plot, I don’t know when that was. The writers and directors nearly succeed in this astoundingly daunting feat.
Unless you’ve been watching all 18 films before now, late newcomers to the MU will be left scratching their heads at the characters and relationship dynamics. (If you haven’t seen Ant Man, you’ll be OK.) Longtime fans will be cheering for their favorite super/anti-hero(ines) while learning more about Thanos’ (psychotic) reasoning for developing this intergalactic war.
As with modern-day technology, the special effects offer a gripping visual overload of wonder and awe, with real life setting scenery grounding the movie in relatable visuals to help keep moviegoers from feeling too separated from the multi-planet-bouncing scenes. Josh Brolin deserves some kudos for offering a refreshing vocal and physical performance at playing a villain who is difficult to relate to, while still providing a simmering evil underneath his purple skin as a personal, imposing emotional threat. (Despite his performance being painted over with the now mundane process of CGI motion-capture animation.)
CONS
Moderately adequate pacing will continuously remind viewers of all 149 minutes that they’re sitting in the theater. At the 2 hour mark, I found myself glancing over at Pilot, and him to me, both of us watching the clock.
OVERALL
Definitely not one of the best films of the decade long series, as with over 20 main characters it’s hard to provide major character development for everyone, but also not the worst in the series. Again, juggling multiple layers of storylines and relationships is a difficult feat, and I think they nearly pull it off. I tip my hat at their attempt. Plot-wise, the movie demands the extended time needed to properly lay out this interwoven tapestry of cosmic comic glory, but you still painstakingly feel every minute of that extended time. Impressive visuals are interrupted by choppy editing, and you walk away with your jaw aching right along with the writers and editors. You feel every struggle of making it all come together — a clear impression that the writers and editors may have bitten off more than they could chew. It sounds counterintuitive, but maybe taking a page from the multi-film spanning Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter films, changing the timing of the last chapter by stuffing in an extra 15-30 minutes would’ve helped make transitions seamless rather than exhausting. Those extra minutes might have also helped shine that extra bit of limelight on each of the characters we’ve grown to know and love in this multi-movie series, and make the moviegoers care just a little bit more.
Movie Score: A-
Quote

GUEST BLOG! Dawn Among the Stars: Smashing Mental Health Stereotypes by Samantha Heuwagen

Hello, Precious Readers!

I have a special treat for you! Samantha Heuwagen is debuting her first novel with our publisher, Trifecta Publishing House. Her first book, Dawn Among the Stars: The Starless Series releases on May 21st, 2018. I feel so excited to have another author added to the Trifecta family, and so should you! Please enjoy this guest blog by Samantha Heuwagen about her book and her professional life. Get your copy of her book today!

PRE-ORDER HERE!

– KB


Dawn Among the Stars:
Smashing Mental Health Stereotypes by Samantha Heuwagen

Cover

“I need help,” the voice said over the phone. “I need to talk to someone about my problems.” As a mental health clinician my mind raced to set the call up for success so I could get them into my office and start their journey towards healing.

You see I work with a variety of mental health problems as a sex therapist. From depression to sexual trauma I’ve been

able to help many people change their lives and reclaim their power. I’m extremely lucky to work in the profession that I do, but I can’t help thinking: does the outside world understand what I do?

The answer is no.

The looks I get usually fall into two camps. Either people love the idea of talking to a therapist–– free therapy! Or they clam up and try to change the subject. I’m used to it now, but it’s still interesting when it happens. And yes it tells me a lot about you, so watch out if we ever meet in person.

Because of this muddled confusion Dawn Among the Stars was born. Alright, you caught me––in reality I had this dream that wouldn’t let go! Yet as I figured out the characters and their hopes and dreams, I realized they all had something in common. They were all dealing with some type of mental health issue while trying to understand the Universe around them.

I quickly understood I wasn’t just writing about aliens––though there are aliens and they’re awesome for the most part. I was writing characters that were taking care of business, fighting for their lives, and falling in love, all the while dealing with really serious mental obstacles; doing it all with class, integrity, and intelligence.

It felt natural for me to write about mental health in a realistic way because it’s time for the discourse surrounding mental illness to change. If treated, people can live happy and healthy lives. But unchecked it can suck the life out of someone and their loved ones. It’s not a sign of weakness to see a helping professional; it’s quite the opposite. It takes strength and a solid sense of self to ask for help.

In today’s media there are no positive images of someone successfully navigating the difficult road to wellness. Dawn Among the Stars changes that by showing a heroine fight through her panic to challenge the world around her. It depicts a man struggling to understand his complex emotions and come out the other side better for it. It showcases a family open to diversity to help them reclaim their sense of safety. The three main characters go through hell to save their beloved planet yet still manage their mental illnesses.

Dawn Among the Stars is a love story, but not in the traditional sense. It’s a love story about wellness and doing what is right to keep a strong sense of peace while battling mental health and aliens.

Tagline

Samantha Heuwagen works as a Marriage and Family Therapist and specializes in Sex Therapy in Atlanta, GA. She is a graduate of Mercer University School of Medicine where she earned her second Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Her first Master’s degree is in Women’s and Gender Studies from the University of South Florida where she first realized her passion for sex education. She is a certified sexologist with the American College of Sexologists. When she isn’t working with clients, she teaches at Kennesaw State University sharing her knowledge about sex and feminism. Her debut novel, Dawn Among the Stars, the first in a multi-part series, releases May 21st, 2018 through Trifecta Publishing House.


Book Blurb


Find Samantha Heuwagen at the following Social Media platforms:

Author Photo

PRE-ORDER HERE!

Website: www.SamanthaHeuwagen.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/609493369396318/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Sheuwagen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samantha_heuwagen/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/heuwagens/pins/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/75884217-samantha-heuwagen


What did you think about us having a guest blogger?
Would you like to see more guest bloggers on this website?
What topics would you like to discuss?
Leave a comment and share below!

Status

Do I have something on my face? Oh wait, it’s just me.

facing life

It’s Friday, Precious Readers!

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am about that. For those who follow me on Facebook and are a part of my Facebook Group: Katherine Bacher’s Happy Hour (hint hint), you may already know that this has been a week from the seventh circle of hell.

After weeks of (not) adjusting to our new neighbors’ schedule, we are pretty much sure our new neighbors are drug dealers and/or gang members. For longtime followers of this blog, you will know that often, the life of an author is not glamorous or even lucrative. We write because we love to do it. It’s not for the money or the fame. I write because it’s what I was born to do. I would write even if I was never published. (I’ve written this blog for over 5 years, so what does that tell you?) However, due to not having achieved 100% world domination, I still live in an apartment in a ghetto area of Washington State. This includes dealing with people who choose to make less lawful-based career decisions. Due to my neighbors’ nocturnal and nefarious activities, my husband Pilot and I have not had a good night’s sleep in several weeks.

To help report this activity to local police and to our landlord, my husband setup a camera to take photographs every 5 seconds. The video footage was quite astounding, showing over 10 cars coming by and being met by our neighbors (after 11:50 pm, mind you) within the first few minutes of footage (first full 10 minutes of recording.) This continued on from 11:50 pm well into the wee hours of Monday morning at 5:30 am. I wish I was kidding, but my lack of Z’s is proof otherwise. An unexpected result of recording through the night added to our stress: my car was broken into on Monday morning around 3:30 am. On the plus side, the perpetrator got The Cranberry’s door unlocked and partway open instead of busting the window open. Which happened last year. And, several other times to both Pilot and I before. Between both Pilot’s and my vehicle combined, this will be the 6th time our cars has been broken into while living in this apartment complex.

To add insult to injury, that same Monday, Pilot’s car battery died in the middle of the day. He managed to get it charged, but it died again around 5:30pm Monday, requiring meeting him at his stranded location, dealing with tow trucks, and dropping the hunk of metal with a mechanic. It is still currently at the mechanic’s, who informed us his vehicle, War Machine, needs a new alternator and an entire new electrical system. So there’s that.

This can take a toll on a person’s sanity. Operating on 1 vehicle is difficult for two workaholics like Pilot and myself, but the morning commute has been filled with quiet laughter together while both of us trying not to take our frustration with life out on each other.

One thing that has gone by the wayside is my personal self-care. While I still have several things to follow-up with (the mechanic, the local police, our landlord, and now attempting to find a new place to live as we consider vacating the apartment we’ve called “home” for the last 8 years and our entire marriage), I plan to make time for some rest and rejuvenation this weekend.

Speaking of rejuvenation, I take the time to fill out surveys, in Hopes of products suited to me will fill the shelves. Plus, it’s a great time passer.

I was asked to take a survey today about facial skin care. The survey did not provide a progress bar (which annoys the heck out of me), and ended up being more in-depth and scientific about the product itself rather than just “do you like label A or B?” The experience ended up making me face a mental mirror about a deeply rooted insecurity and fear that I was unaware of floating around in my psyche.

While filling out this survey, a sense of dread bloomed into a dark, gray cloud that hovered over my head for a good half hour after completing it.

welcome to your face

Those nearest and dearest to me know that I have an above-average concern regarding sun exposure. Living in the Pacific Northwest means that sun exposure is limited compared to other parts of the country, but it can actually be more dangerous for PNW dwellers than your average Californian. So many of our days are gray and overcast that many in the PNW do not wear sunblock leading to spots, advanced skin aging, and the looming skin cancer. I don’t know if it’s in my Asian DNA or mental paranoia, but I fight the sun like a mother f-ing heavyweight champion. (Insert favorite fat joke here, says fat blogger.) Although I don’t wear sunblock everyday (longtime readers know I am not a morning person), I do my best to wear it when I know I will be outside for extended periods of time. I’m better at keeping my arms covered, I wear my Bubble Run hat or travel (crush-able) visor, and weirdo that I am, I wear driving gloves to keep my hands sort-of youthful looking (thanks to a lovely requested Christmas gift from my Mom. Thanks Mom!). I tend to splurge on facial products and nail products. This includes night creams and daily moisturizer with SPF. I have a gentle scrub face wash, toner, moisturizer, and a night cream.

This concern did not appear once I hit adulthood. In fact, when I was in elementary school, I was often getting in trouble with the summer day camp teachers for taking too long putting on sunblock before going outside to play. I would use the mirror in the playhouse area to make sure I covered my ears, got the back of my neck and shoulders, etc. Yes, even as young as eight years old, I was concerned about sun exposure and skin care. This is not due to me burning. In my youth, I tanned mostly, probably due to the huge amounts of sunblock I was using. I didn’t get my first sunburn until I was about 19 years old during an unfortunate misunderstanding of how long we would be on Boeing Field for an airshow during the first year of Pilot and I dating.

However, that’s not what I wanted to talk about with you. While answering questions such as Do you look for anti-aging features? or the ever popular women’s questions about concerns over eye sagging and wrinkling, I was confronted with what was my actual fear? Yes, of course, no one wants skin cancer, but this was more than that. I asked myself why I was so concerned about aging beyond my irrational thanatophobia.

Here was my revelation:

I have no idea what I will look like as I age.

I can hear you thinking right now: What the heck is she talking about? None of us know what we’re going to look like as we get older.

Here’s my rebuttal: Actually, yes, most of you do.

(Most of) You have family members you can reference where you got your looks from. Perhaps you’re a “Mini Me” of your parents. Maybe your family’s DNA caused looks to skip a generation and you look like your great grandparents. It could be a situation where you look more like your extended family. My husband is the youngest of three children in his family. My husband looks the most like his father in height, stretched build, and facial features, except he has his mother’s eyes and hair color. His sister has their dad’s height, but looks the most like their mother. Pilot’s brother doesn’t look like either of his siblings, is the shortest of the three (while still tall), has a slightly stockier build that comes from their mother’s side of the family, darker hair, and in looks he is almost a twin of one of their first cousins.

Maybe you have your uncle’s nose and your grandparent’s build. Maybe you have your mother’s eyes and your father’s ears.

For me, this is what I know about myself:
I’m Korean.

That’s ALL I know, and whether that’s 100% Korean is yet to be determined.

I don’t know if I look like my biological father. I don’t know if I look like my biological mother. I don’t know if looks skipped a generation and I look like one or a combination of my grandparents. The unknown is scary. There’s probably some additional tie ins with my Type-A personality about “control issues” due to so much uncertainty in my infantile year(s) and lack of control over the future of my body, but I don’t feel like opening that Pandora’s box anytime soon.

This is going to sound weird, but sometimes I forget that I am Asian. The world sees me as such, but to me, I grew up as a suburban, “white” American, of German descent. Sometimes I’m actually still surprised when I look in the mirror and I see a change in my face. This was exceptionally confusing when I was just hitting puberty as a teen, watching my small, cherubic face lengthen, my height extend, etc. I had nothing to reference from. Every change was a surprise and I had no frame of reference while experiencing it.

About a year ago, I noticed a brown speck near the base of my palm, smaller than the head of a pin. I thought it was a piece of dirt and proceeded to flick it off.

It didn’t.

I realized it was a brown spot that had appeared on my skin and IT WAS PERMANENT.

While this wasn’t earth-shattering news, or a symbol of something more unhealthy going on, it was a realization that I am well into my 30’s and not getting any younger, and that if I wanted my face to be even close to resembling what I know it to be in this moment in time, I needed to up my game from daily SPF moisturizer and face washing. (Hence the night cream(s).)

All I know about Asian aging is that we age slower than some other ethnicities, but we also have delicate skin. I have the hooded (flat) eyelid, so my eyelids may be prone to drooping as time goes on. I may develop jowls and end up looking like a Korean Winston Churchill. Maybe I’ll develop osteoporosis, which is more prevalent in aging Asians than other races, or shrink down an entire foot as I age. I’ve already lost some hair on the top of my head near my forehead. To be fair, I think that was resulting of a medical condition that is now more under control… but it hasn’t grown back.

Most people who are 60+ years in age say that they sometimes don’t recognize the person in the mirror facing back at them. I can genuinely say that the person I meet in 30 years will most likely be a complete stranger to me unless I do my best preventive and maintenance methods, that I can afford to do, right now.

It was one of those psychological jabs poking insecurity into my brain, causing a moment of that loneliness that reveals itself to me from time-to-time, making me feel different than my family, different from my friends, different from my own celebrated German-American heritage. I experience the following jabs:

  • I’m a phony
  • I don’t belong with my family
  • I’m not a “real” Asian
  • I’m not a “real” American
  • I’m not a “real” anything
  • I don’t deserve to celebrate my American and German roots

Another thing that pops into my brain, as a woman, I have no idea what my children would look like. If I had married an Asian man, I would be able to say my children will look Asian and most won’t question that they’re my or my husband’s kids.

Even though it’s 2018, there are still many who frown upon interracial marriage. White supremacy gangs are the leading type of gang activity in Washington State, and despite living on the coastal side of it, there are still areas where Pilot and I will encounter hate and/or racism merely for looking the way that I do. It’s rare, and the situations are few and far between, but they do happen.

I have, what I feel is, a legitimate fear that if Pilot and I were to have children, chances are they’re going to look mostly Asian instead of Caucasian. Based on other Asian/Caucasian couples that I know and have met who have children, their kids tend to take on more Asian features than their Caucasian parent counterparts. (The Asian genes are incredibly strong.) I fear that if Pilot and I were to have children, and he’s watching them by himself, that someone will call CPS on them fearing he’s kidnapping them. Or that a stranger will make a comment that may hurt my husband and/or those children because of ignorance, hate, or a misunderstanding. I don’t look forward to those questions, potential tears, and conversations of having to explain human stupidity to a child in a way that they understand and doesn’t hurt them further.

My parents had to give me a lot of educational and grown up discussions about adoption, racism, what it means to be a family, parenting, the parent-child dynamic, etc., probably far more discussions than the average family about us: What could/could not be said at home versus in public, how to act when meeting people for the first time as a family, how to make sure that I am always making that extra effort to make sure that I keep the offender comfortable after they’ve insulted me, my intelligence, my race, my assumed heritage, my actual heritage, and whatnot. I never remember them offhand, but something will trigger one — a comment someone said, witnessing institutional racism, seeing a parent of interracial children get questioned, etc. and I remember a certain “family meeting” I had shared with my parents for whatever ridiculous screwed up thing had happened that day in my childhood. I do have hope that maybe the world will change into a less racially charged place where it’s not assumed that children of a different appear race to the adult means that the kids were “rescued” or “kidnapped,” depending on how the offender is feeling that day.

I had no idea that a survey about face cream would stir up all several emotions that I haven’t felt in… well, frankly, in almost twenty years. I suppose I could look at it from a different perspective: I get to meet someone new in the mirror about every 10 years who likes and hates all of the same stuff that I do. If Pilot and I were to have kids, maybe they’ll take on features of both him and I so I won’t have to try to guess who they look like.

Probably a bit heavier for a Friday post, but why not throw out an existential question for the weekend? While War Machine is in the shop and Pilot uses my car, The Cranberry to meet with clients for work, maybe I’ll spend a nice quiet Saturday using one of those home facial masks.

TGIF everyone!
– KB

Link

Did you start the hunt? **CONTEST CLOSED**

 

ShowcaseGraphic_SpringFling2018

Hello, Precious Readers!

Have you gone over to the Spring Fling Scavenger Hunt yet? There are 38 authors for you to meet, myself included! You could be one of the lucky winners of prizes and free books! It’s also an opportunity to meet other readers who love the same genres that you do. It’s also an opportunity to win my books for FREE! It’s the perfect time to catch up on Roxy Summers’ adventures before my third book, Missing You releases in June 2018!

The comments are flooding in! I’ll be popping into the Scavenger hunt periodically as the contests continue. I promise to respond to every comment that directly mentions me and/or my books. Have you left a comment yet? It’s the perfect place to leave me a question, mention my books, and I’ll actually respond! In fact, I’m headed over there now!

Check it out for yourselves: https://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Blog/Articles/Spring-Fling-2018-by-Web-Hunt

See you there!
– KB


Haven’t read the Roxy Summers Mystery SeriesYou have time to catch up!
Start with Capture Me and meet Roxy in a case of cat-and-mouse for a grand Seattle adventure! Then, travel with Roxy to sunny Los Angeles for a food competition to die for in her sequel novel, Crush On You! Roxy’s third book, Missing You releases in June 2018. Keep an eye out on my bookshelf page for pre-order links closer to the release date!

IMG_20171109_222751.jpg

Get your copies today!
Katherine Bacher on Amazon
Katherine Bacher on Barnes and Noble


Are we connected? No? Well let’s do that!

Find Katherine Bacher on Twitter
Find Katherine Bacher on Instagram
Find Katherine Bacher on Facebook
(…and join her FB Group: Katherine Bacher’s Happy Hour!)
Find Katherine Bacher on Trifecta Publishing House

Link

NOR Spring Fling – FREE BOOKS Alert! (April 12-May 3, 2018) **CONTEST CLOSED**

Hello, hello again, Precious Readers!

 

I’ve got a special reader TREAT for you!

 

I’m one of the sponsors of the Night Owl Romance Spring Fling Scavenger Hunt! 

During this event I’m going to help you find some great new books and meet some new authors. Translation = FREE BOOKS! FREE BOOKS! MANY, MANY FREE BOOKS!

 

Make sure to check out my featured titles Capture Me and Crush On You along the way. If you haven’t read my books, this is a chance to get a FREE copy of them! Of course, I’d want you to help support an author by purchasing them, but if you want to get them free, this is a perfect opportunity to catch up on Roxy Summers’ mysterious adventures! Also, this helps you get caught up on both books before my third book, Missing You releases in June 2018.

The Grand Prize is a $100 Amazon Gift Card!

NOR Stamp
Not to worry, there are also over $900 in prizes waiting to get to your eager hands! (Again, along with many FREE BOOKS!)

Event Dates: Apr 12 – May 3

CLICK HERE TO ENTER NOW!

Looking forward to seeing you there! TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

– KB


Haven’t read the Roxy Summers Mystery SeriesYou have time to catch up!
Start with Capture Me and meet Roxy in a case of cat-and-mouse for a grand Seattle adventure! Then, travel with Roxy to sunny Los Angeles for a food competition to die for in her sequel novel, Crush On You! Roxy’s third book, Missing You releases in June 2018. Keep an eye out on my bookshelf page for pre-order links closer to the release date!

IMG_20171109_222751.jpg

Get your copies today!
Katherine Bacher on Amazon
Katherine Bacher on Barnes and Noble


Are we connected? No? Well let’s do that!

Find Katherine Bacher on Twitter
Find Katherine Bacher on Instagram
Find Katherine Bacher on Facebook
(…and join her FB Group: Katherine Bacher’s Happy Hour!)
Find Katherine Bacher on Trifecta Publishing House