Abortion

When you think you know better.

Warning: This is a deeply emotional post. I will not be allowing comments on it due to the sensitive nature of this topic for me. Once again, those of us who suffer and experience the pain are being forced to talk through our pain for the greater good of education and for a brighter, progressive future. For those who have followed my blog, you know I’m an open book, however this topic is one that I refuse to accept any negativity towards to my point of view.

WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER.

I’m going to say this only once, because I should never have had to say it at all.

But, due to my rising concerns over the loss of healthcare for girls and women across the United States (and let’s face it, the world) regarding reproductive rights, I’m compelled to bring up this topic regarding girl’s and women’s access to free, safe, and easily attainable abortion(s) and to contraceptive care. I feel like society and the degrading direction we’re heading toward as a nation terrifies me and compels me to suffer through decades of deeply rooted pain to educate.

DO NOT USE THE PHRASE, “YOU CAN GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION” AS ANY TYPE OF LAME ASS EXCUSE TO PREVENT A GIRL OR WOMAN FROM HAVING A FREE, SAFE, EASILY ATTAINABLE ABORTION OR PREVENTING CONTRACEPTIVE CARE.

No girl (child) or woman should have to go through pregnancy if they don’t want to or are too young to understand what is happening to their body.

As someone who is the direct result of a teen pregnancy, having been internationally adopted, and also as a transracial (adopted outside of my race) adoptee, this flippant response is NOT OK.

As an adoptee, this argument is offensive, disgusting, disrespectful, shows a complete lack of research around adoptees, the birth parents, the lack of psychological support for both the adoptee and birth parents, the lack of studying or obtaining any knowledge about real kids who are in the system, who never leave it, who age out of it, and issues and lack of privileges as they navigate the world with no help It shows a complete disinterest in the lack of care many orphans and adoptees receive, the horrors of our needs-to-be-reformed-decades-ago foster care system.

Frankly, that offhanded remark is a huge slap to my face. ME. My face.

Abortions should be legal everywhere.

I’ve always felt this, and have been quite vocal about it, loooong before I required a medically necessary one to save my life.

Don’t casually toss out or throw around my abandonment issues, my loss/confusion/pain of racial identity, my loss of country—my Korean culture, language, history, heritage—my family, my unknown biological family, nor the financial, emotional, and physical sacrifices my parents went through to adopt me, etc….

DO NOT USE MY LIFE AND EXPERIENCES as any type of reason for endangering the lives of millions of girls and women. Using MY LIFE as a reason is not for YOU to decide.

I DECIDE.

As GOP/Republican voters and government officials have reversed Roe v. Wade (codify Roe v. Wade!), have removed abortion as an option at any stage of a pregnancy, have removed scientifically-based health/sex education out of schools, as they are burning books and sacrificing our children’s right to education—a full, multi-perspective-based, and scientifically backed education—I DECIDE. NOT YOU about how to use the phrase, “Just give it up for adoption.”

ME. I DECIDE. NOT YOU.

Keep my trauma, my childhood, every racially charged moment I’ve experienced, every time a bully yelled at me or hit me because I wasn’t White, keep the time I was once a pregnancy that derailed a teenage girl’s life, my time as an orphan, the process of my adoption that severed my ties to anything related to my birth country and culture, the history of my hardworking parents who adopted me, my family, my unknown biological family, KEEP ALL OF THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO USE IT. I AM NOT YOUR “TOKEN” FOR DESTROYING HUMANE HEALTHCARE.

KEEP MY LIFE OUT OF YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, especially as you sentence millions of girls (children) and women to physical trauma, psychological trauma, and to many what WILL (not might, WILL) be their deaths.

Just as much as you have ZERO RIGHTS to control MY BODY, you also have ZERO RIGHTS to use MY LIFE EXPERIENCE for your so-called “pro life” views and agenda.

#AbortionIsHealthcare #Abortion #Adoption #Adoptee #InternationalAdoption #TransracialAdoption #WomensHealth #WomensRights #ContraceptionIsHealthcare #Planned Parenthood #SupportWomen #WomenUpliftingWomen #UpliftingWomen

Hi. This is me trying.

Content warning: Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Depression

Hello Precious Readers.

Yes, it’s been ANOTHER 2 years. There’s a lot of reasons I haven’t written, most of which boil down to:

I’m tired.

I’m just going to get into it. I haven’t written in 2 years because the day after I posted my last blog, long ago in April 2021, I had a miscarriage. It was bad, and I almost died.

I didn’t know that I was pregnant. It was about 2 AM, my husband and child were asleep, and all of a sudden, I was bleeding everywhere, and it wouldn’t stop. Due to it being the middle of the night, I didn’t want to wake my (then) toddler (now 4-year-old), for him to be tired, meltdown, and upset, and have all three of us in the hospital. Especially during spring of 2021, as this was during the height of the Covid lockdowns. I was transferred by ambulance to another hospital to handle it since the ER I was currently was unable to continue with the needed procedures my body required. At the next hospital, I vomited, and was given a medically-induced abortion to expedite the process of the miscarriage, and to save my life from the blood loss.

I was sent home later that day, and my body went through some post-partum hormone changes that I was familiar with from my first pregnancy, including some hair loss. That was fun.

Needless to say, the same moment of learning that I was pregnant, and also simultaneously losing the pregnancy, is an experience I don’t wish on anyone. There is a strange cocktail of emotions (and hormones) that get mixed up in that moment. It affected both Pilot and I differently, and the same, for a while. It took us each a long time to process.

There really aren’t any more details I wish to share on such a public platform. So, there’s that.

Covid happened shortly after that last post, and frankly Covid sucked for everyone.

I don’t want to get I into politics here, especially with my debut post of trying to get back into a routine of writing on the regular.

I’m still debating if I should self-publish or resubmit my books to a new publisher. I was burned so badly with my first/last experience of it, I’m a bit at a decision overload and have been stuck at a stalemate with my brain for the last few years.

Being a first-time parent was extremely overwhelming, and having post-partum depression the first time was rough. Going through some post-pregnancy hormone changes a second time without knowing I had been pregnant was also a wild ride that I don’t wish to get into much.

One comment I will write is this: If you know of someone who has recently had a miscarriage, PLEASE DO NOT WRITE THEM A “SORRY ABOUT YOUR DEAD BABY” GREETING CARD.

Yes, this actually happened to me.
0 stars. Do not recommend.

My son just turned 4 this month. The one we introduced to you two years ago. We’re considering preschools already. It surprises me how nowadays the time seems to fly by when the newborn phase seemed like a never-ending phase of no sleep fog.

My *intention* is to get back into monthly writing here again.

It has never *not* been my intention.

For those who have stayed subscribed to my little blip in the internet world, thank you. My books (despite no longer being on the shelves at this time), would never have been as successful as they were without the people who read my little blog. It all started with you.

I call you “Precious” for a reason. You are all virtual strangers, but so dear to me.

Take care, and please know that my *intention* is always there and I haven’t forgotten about you.

I hope you haven’t forgotten about me. And most importantly, for those who are still here:

Thank you for not giving up on me.

KB