Aside

Spirit Airlines Review – FULL Review

spirit - logo

Greetings Precious Readers!

I promised a follow-up and I did not disappoint! (Er, this time!)

Spirit Airlines has gotten a fairly bad reputation due to its “no frills” policy and approach to airline service. I’ve already touched on its history and current reputation in an earlier post here. All ratings will be rated on a 0-5 😊 scale. Also, in my earlier post, I wrote about having set expectations and doing your research. I went into my flights with Spirit Airlines fully aware of their “no frills” policy and clear expectations of how it would be. It is an economical way to fly, and I treated it as such.

I’m going to jet right into my review. (See what I did there?)

Seat Picking  – 😊😊😊😊😊
My friend, Caring* and I hadn’t vacationed before, but we were easily able to get seats next to each other without having to “request” it earlier. Specifically picking your seats is an added cost. I could see how this would bother someone, but I figure with other ‘standard’ airlines, that fee is built into your higher ticket price. Since the flight was only 2.5 hours each way, Caring and I didn’t worry about not sitting with each other. SA surprised us and seated us next to each other automatically. Lucky us! For this, I give it 5 faces. If it had been a longer flight, I might have coughed up the extra dollars to ensure I was somewhat near the people I’m traveling with. If it had been with Pilot, we definitely would’ve preferred to sit next to each other. The second flight wasn’t full, and the airline allowed us to move seats for more comfort. No seat neighbors = Happy KB. Caring and I ended up each sitting on one aisle seat across from each other, still able to talk, plus elbow room. What could be better?

spirit - bare fare

Bare Fare Experience – 😊😊😊😊😊
Going in with a full understanding of the “Bare Fare Experience,” there were no surprises, or upsets in any way. If you’re not traveling far, or only traveling for a short period of time 1-3 days, and are able to pack light, I highly recommend this as a great money saver. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather save my money for my actual destination rather than the travel to the destination. If it was a longer flight, like the one to South Korea, I would’ve sprung for more creature comforts due to the large amount of time actually spent in my traveling vessel. Since I went in with clear expectations, and there were no bad surprises, I’d say everything went according to plan. Really, what else is there in travel plans?

Baggage/Packing for Medical Needs – 😊😊😊😊😊
I only packed an average-sized laptop-holding backpack for my 3-day trip, clothes only packed for 2 days as I was wearing my “third” outfit, and a swimsuit. I had no issues getting baggage through TSA and ensured my bag was considered the right size for SA as my ONE bag. It’s not like a standard airline with a carry on + personal item. You only get ONE bag.

I did have an extra bag, but it was for medical purposes. I had contacted SA ahead of time, and they assured me my extra bag would not be charged for. They kept their word and gave no hassles of any kind in regards to my medical supplies. 5 😊 for that!

spirit - seats

Seat Comfort – 😊😊😊😊😊
This was a pleasant surprise! The seats, although not plush were surprisingly comfortable! I’m a larger gal, so having slightly less padding actually gave me more room and less encroachment on my seatmates. I don’t require 2 airline seats, but I’m not thin. I’m not a size 4. I try to be conscious about not taking up space. Having said that, I also hate seatmates who lean over the armrest and shove their elbows into me to “establish dominance of the territory.” Be a pal. If you have an armrest, don’t use up BOTH. I’m only using 1, you should only be using 1. I digress… The seats on SA were comfortable, leather, and I had no problem catching a brief nap on them. I’m a lucky gal who can sleep anywhere, but I was actually comfortable, and didn’t need a neck pillow.

The all important LEG ROOM: The leg room was unbelievably awesome! I had more leg room on this trip than I did for my flight on Korean Air. Korean Air was a 10.5 hour flight to Korea and an 11 hour return flight to Seattle. I repeat: I HAD MORE LEG ROOM ON SPIRIT AIRLINES THAN I DID KOREAN AIR. That is saying something!

Lack of In-Flight Services – N/A
I’m not going to rate this. I didn’t purchase any food or beverages on the flight. SA is clear that any water, drinks, and/or food on the plane is an additional fee. I tend to snack, so I bought water and snacks in the airport before the flight. They gave me no hassles about bringing an additional bag of trail mix on the plane and my water bottle, even though they clearly didn’t fit in my stuffed backpack. I won’t rate this since I didn’t try their products, and neither did my friend, so I cannot comment on the quality of water, beverages, or food. However, the staff was polite and their service was efficient getting the items into the hands of waiting guests.

Customer Service – 😊😊😊
I’d like to specifically say that the flight attendants and the pilots were some of the most genuinely nice staff I’ve seen since Korean Airlines. I’ve traveled by air easily 25+ times in my life. This was the second-most friendly service I’ve experienced for flight services. They cracked jokes during the emergency lecture pre-flight, the pilots also brought a level of brevity to typically sterile and stale instructions, which made the plane burst into light laughter. Flight guests are a tough crowd. Hat’s off to them!

This was my first time flying with SA, so I can’t comment on how their service was in the beginning, but I found them polite, courteous, efficient, and able to successfully bring some humor to the flight. At 6:00 AM, I call that talent.

The reason I knocked off two faces–that phrase looks weird–was due to pre-flight issues. SA doesn’t allow you to print boarding passes until within 24-hours of your flight. I printed them at home, because printing the boarding pass at the airport is an additional fee. The print off didn’t scan at TSA, and they directed me to the SA counter to get a boarding pass re-printed like a standard boarding pass. Apparently the bar code/smart code used on home printers rarely scan well at TSA check in points and this is a common occurrence. Since our flight left at 6:00 AM, Caring and I were at the airport at 4:00 AM. The SA counter didn’t open until later that morning.

Luckily, the airport had standing kiosks like mini-ATMs where I could print a new boarding pass myself (free!). However, if the airport hadn’t had a kiosk, I would’ve been stuck until the SA counter opened, missed my flight, and Caring and I would’ve had a shorter vacation (or she would’ve been in our warm climate destination without me). If you’re traveling to a more remote place, I don’t know how this would affect your travel plans. Several other counters of other airlines were open with staff, so it was disappointing to see the SA counter dim and desolate.

Canceled Flight – N/A
My flight wasn’t canceled, so I cannot comment or rate the experience. So, that’s a good thing!

spirit - amused

OVERALL: A solid 3.75 / 5
Overall, I give SA a 3.75/5, which compared to other reviews I’ve seen, isn’t too bad. If you’re looking to get from Point A to Point B with a little humor thrown in, and leg room to spare, this is the discount airline for you!

Traveled with Spirit Airlines? What was your experience? Comment below!

Have a travel tip? Please share with the masses below!

Want to provide me with much-needed advice, and think I’m writing with rose-colored glasses? I’d love to know how wrong my thinking is! Tell me how wrong I am!

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

I was not asked or compensated in any way to provide this review of Spirit Airlines. The information provided on this blog is voluntarily of my sole opinion.

Putting My Life in Spirit Airline’s Hands While They Hurtle It Through the Air

flying

Hello Precious Readers,

You read that correctly. Later this year, I will be attempting to fly with “The Worst Airline” in American history. “Why?” you may ask? I’ll tell you. I’m cheap. And I don’t have a large budget. But I need a vacation.

I’ve heard the stories, I’ve read the articles, I’ve seen the Yelp/Trip Advisor/Other Blog Post reviews. You know what consistently pops up? Read the fine print.

angry librarian

Warning: It’s Tough Love time.

I’ve warned you about my “straight talk,” and that I am not into frills if that’s not what is expected. I’m a firm believer that our country is becoming entitled. People expect more for less, and have condescending and egotistical attitudes about it. I’m not immune to this mentally viral emotional state… I try to have those instances occur as few and as far between events of my idiocy as possible. I’m human, but I try to remember that other people are human too.

Spirit Airlines tends to emote the lizard-brain, guttural, almost primitive reactions of hate, frustration, and anger in people who fly with them. I’m looking at the experience a bit more optimistically.

vacation

My girl friend, Caring and I are taking a girl’s getaway trip later this year to warmer climates. I firmly believe this vacation was hard earned due to some struggles both of us have incurred over the last couple of years, me finishing CRUSH ON YOU: A Roxy Summers Mystery #2, (releasing August 21, 2017!), and a break from life’s little problems. It will be our first vacation together. I’ll admit I’ve had poor traveling experiences with friends in the past, but I’m feeling optimistic. Caring and I have both have traveled to this destination before, and are looking for some time away from family and children. Not that we don’t like children. I work in a school, for crying out loud. She works in early education and has a master’s degree in social work, which she obtained while studying in DETROIT. We’re pro-children.

Queue the music now: “I believe the children are our future…”

But, neither of us will be playing “tourist” during this trip and can kick back, have some relaxation time, and enjoy some sunshine and pool side quasi-luxury. (Keep an eye on my Instagram *cough cough, hint hint* if you want to keep up with my misadventures!)

But, I digress.

I used to work with a group of lawyers. I’m not a lawyer. I’m not smart enough. But, after supporting a team of lawyers for several years, I’ve learned 2 things:

  • Do your research.
  • Read the fine print before you sign anything.

It’s a good thing I do. This can tend to be a point of frustration for my loved ones, who quickly sign subscription, Fred Meyer points cards, etc. with the carefree attitude of someone with nothing to lose. Then, they get annoyed when I stand at the counter an extra 5-7 minutes reading the agreement in its entirety, sometimes with a level 5 point font. I read every word. Every. Single. Word.

Those few extra minutes make a big difference in my life decisions.

Spirit Airlines is no different. One of the biggest complaints that are across the internet are regarding baggage, seat comfort, lack of in-flight services, and customer service. All of this information is addressed on their website in big yellow boxes.

spirit

This is where “Do your research” comes in. Always know what you’re getting into before signing anything

Let’s break down the biggest complaints people have, shall we?

baggage

  • Baggage — Baggage is a luxury. Of course, if you are traveling more than 1 day, you might need more clothes. It is possible to travel with 1 full outfit, but most people do not find this ideal. However, with modern-day materials and a little soap, you can stretch 1 outfit. It’s not ideal, and frankly, unless you’re backpacking in the same climate or planning to only wear a bathing suit, it’s not realistic. Having said that, I’ve seen people have an entire suitcase only for their shoes. My opinion? Unless you are traveling to colder climates, you do not require that much luggage.

Leg room

  • Seat Comfort — The owner of Spirit has said their seats are basic with little leg room to provide more chairs in each plane. If you’re traveling longer than 2.5 hours, or have a medical situation, you really might want to consider a different airline. We will be traveling <2.5 hours, so I can withstand a little uncomfortable seating. Lack of leg room – unless you’re willing to pay out the nose for business or first-class seating, is that truly any different from any other airline? My hubby, Pilot and I traveled 10.5 hours one way from Seattle to Seoul, South Korea in Economy Seats. Did we have little leg room? Yes. Did I bring an extra carry-on bag? Yes. This already reduces the amount of leg room. Planes are uncomfortable, but they are transportation systems. Not hotels. Need to stretch your legs? Stand up. Bring a scarf or wear a sweater you can use to cushion your seat. Frankly, I hate it when someone reclines. It puts their chair in my face, along with their head, and I don’t need to lock eyes with the passenger in front of me. What is the airline’s job? Get you from Point A to Point B, fairly and not-permanently scathed. Do they do this? Yes. You bought what you paid for.

In Flight

  • Lack of In-Flight Services — Think that water and pack of peanuts is complimentary? Think again. Booking outside of Spirit Airlines, the fees are little higher, or sometimes much higher. So that “complimentary” service, isn’t really free, is it? It’s like paying for a luxury hotel stay and getting the little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, soap, and lotion. Those are not “complimentary.” You pre-paid for those when you booked your hotel room. If you want in-flight food or water, you will have to pay for it in-flight or beforehand and bring it with you. So is “complimentary” really complimentary? According to a bottom line, no. Not really.

Customer

  • Customer Service — Here is where it gets tricky. As someone who has worked her whole life in customer service, I have both an employee and customer’s point of view. I’ve been on the side of good and terrible service. I’ve been on the side of dealing with reasonable, and completely “whacked out of their gourd” irate and irrationally angry customers who are determined to not have their problem solved no matter what you are able to legally provide for them. Which of these was your experience?

SCENARIO 1: Are you someone who gets frustrated easily? Has the staff member apologized for your grievance, but according to business policies they are unable to meet your request? Well, then the problem is you.

Businesses have policies for a reason. Read the fine print. It is not the employee’s fault that you are requesting something beyond what they are permitted to give. Do you go to a Chinese food restaurant which only serves Chinese food, but then demand a hamburger?

“But the [Name of Burger Place] down the street serves them!” you demand.

“But, we don’t make hamburgers here, sir/madam,” says the employee.

“You are being rude, and this is ridiculous!” you say. “You serve food, don’t you? That’s what I’m asking for. Food! NOW!”

“Yes, but we only serve Chinese food,” says the employee. “It says so on the sign outside, on our website, and on our menus that we only serve Chinese food. We could put some beef on a roll for you, but that will be an extra charge since we don’t usually make it.”

“This is ridiculous!” you exclaim. “I will tell everyone and everyone they know about the terrible service here!”

Do you see what’s wrong with this scenario? I don’t know about when Spirit Airlines first launched their business or website, but if you look at it now, it is straightforward information about their baggage policies, in-flight policies, seating, etc. 

SCENARIO 2: Were you kind, polite, said “please” and “thank you,” but what you’re requesting goes against business policy? Then the problem is still you. See scenario 1 above, but with a lighter tone from the customer. Do you really expect a Chinese food restaurant to serve you a burger? No.

SCENARIO 3: Were you kind, polite, said “please” and “thank you,” what you were requesting falls inside of their policies, but were met with an employee who showed hostility, aggression, and could not care less that you are human being? Then the problem is with the service. THIS IS WHEN YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN TO A MANAGER.

want v need

Another thing to keep in mind: There’s a big difference between “want” and “need.” 

Do I need to check 2 bags, and have a carry on and purse on my person — for a 2-night stay in a warm-climate location? Probably not.

Do I need to pack 3 pairs of sunglasses and have four outfits per day? Again, probably not.

Is my carry on bigger and/or heavier than the dimensions the airline clearly outlined on their website? Yes? I may have to pay an additional fee. With increasing fuel costs and limited space — airlines need to be royalty of efficiency and good use of space. There’s only 1 plane with a finite amount of space to hold objects and amount of weight it can hold, and only 1 you. Who do you think is going to win this battle?

Do I need my medication(s) and proper storage arrangements for them? Yes. Luckily, Spirit Airlines does not charge for any accommodations needed for medically related issues. This does not include your loyal pet #NimitzThePomeranian as your “service dog.” Do you plan to list medication(s) as true medical need? No matter which airline you fly, you will need to provide documentation. Doctors notes are king, along with original packaging for your meds, and bring your prescriptions with you. Keep in mind, this is for any and all airlines, not just Spirit. If traveling internationally, make sure your medication(s) are legal to bring into that country.

But, they canceled my flight and I didn’t get a refund! What the heck?

I would be frustrated too. In fact, this is my biggest fear about my upcoming flight with Spirit. But I have this fear with all airlines. Again, as of today, Spirit has made it clear on their website that all sales are final and there are no refunds. I’m gambling with my money, but I agreed to these terms, and I’ll have to suck it up if my flight gets canceled. Spirit does offer its customers the opportunity to fly on their next flight to your planned destination at no additional fee, but that is based on your individual itinerary. It’s not the airline’s fault that you’ll be missing C-dog-topia-wallop-palooza, the sole reason you were flying in the first place. Again, this is seems pretty standard for any airline. You run the risk of your flight being delayed or canceled. Especially if your flight(s) may be affected by inclement weather or an emergency situation.

caveat

Having anything seemingly go wrong with your travel plans can be frustrating, exhausting, and feel like the end of the world. But, I implore you, Caveat Emptor, or “Buyer Beware.”

Research is your friend. So is reading the fine print. At this stage, Caring and I are fully aware of what we’re getting into, and doing our best to apply ourselves to their guidelines. It may be a bumpy flight, but we’ll be doing our best to have our eyes wide open about it.

It’s easy to say all of these things before flying with them. Perhaps they’ll prove me wrong, and I’ll have a great time, and everything will be perfect. Maybe they’ll prove me really, really wrong, and everything turns to shit. Either way, we’ll find out soon, won’t we? And you will, because I’ll writing another blog post confirming or denying my findings.

Traveled with Spirit Airlines? Tell us your experiences in the comments section!

Have a travel tip? Please share with the masses below!

Want to provide me with much-needed advice, and think I’m writing with rose-colored glasses? I’d love to know how wrong my thinking is! Share with me below!

excuse me, while i kiss the sky

You want me to what?!

Never mind the fact that I’m adopted and took my first commercial flight when I was six months old, or that I’ve been on several (easily almost 10 commercial flights) in my lifetime. Precious Readers, I should warn you that I am not a great flier and do not crave leaving the earth. If anything, I prefer going deeper via lakes, oceans, rivers, etc. I’m more of a water/land-type of person.

If this is the first time you’re joining us on this blog, you may not know that I call my husband “Pilot.” The reason being: he flies airplanes.

Kind of anticlimactic, right?

The part I haven’t always shared is that he has also flown aerobatics. That’s when the planes fly in loops, upside-down, flips, etc.

That’s a little more eye-catching, isn’t it?

Today’s post will be recalling my very first Cessna flight with Pilot.

During the early days of dating with Pilot, probably about 3-6 months in, (I’m sure Pilot has the date, since all pilots keep a log book), he decided to take me on a flight in a Cessna. I told him I wasn’t a great flier.

Me: I hate flying.

Pilot: Don’t worry; I’ll be right there with you.

Me: It scares me shitless.

Pilot: Nah, you’ll be fine.

Me: <beginning to hyperventilate.> I’m already freaking out, and we haven’t left the ground yet!

Pilot: <waves hand in vague gesture.> You’re going to love it!

Me: <frowns.> O-kaaay.

The night before our takeoff, we visited Pilot’s parents. His dad, Silver Fox-

Again, I did not come up with this nickname. The people in his office dubbed him with this particular title.

-decided to let me in on a little secret that was deemed necessary before leaving.

Silver Fox: Now, Katie, just remember one thing.

Me: <turns to face Silver Fox, and shrugs.> Ok.

Silver Fox: <holds up his index finger and thumb slightly apart from each other.> There is only 1/4 inch of metal separating you and 5,000 feet.

Me: <pales in color, sets lips in grim line.> Great. Thanks, Silver Fox. Really needed that.

Everyone in the room except me: <laughing hysterically.>

Night passes and the crushing weight of my impending doom approaches. My parents and some family friends joined us to see me off. Mostly teasing me about how it was going to be.

Needless to say, before takeoff, I asked several millions of questions-

Shaky voice not withstanding

-and was white knuckled during the experience.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a smaller airplane, but it is cozy.

When I say cozy, I’m talking about, you’re practically sitting in the lap of the hot guy next to you, which you can imagine an 18-year-old virgin who is finally participating in her first dates finds those close quarters a very intimate experience as it is.

Never mind adding the stress of trying to appear calm, cool, sexy, feminine and pretty while trying fight the (ironically named) “flight” sensation of facing one’s biggest fear… AND feeling that if I continue flying in this sardine-can-of-a-monstrosity-tempting-fate-by-defying-gravity that I might surely perish – avoiding the sensation to jump out of said moving (and airborne) plane which would GUARANTEE my death 100%.

If you’ve ever flown in a large airplane, once in a while you might feel the plane dip slightly due to turbulence.

Well, Precious Readers, Allow me to explain:

In a smaller plane, such as a Cessna, YOU FEEL EVERYYTHING AND YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.

Most people would say I was overreacting with the previous statement. And it’s probably true.

IF YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF FLYING.

So how did this experience end?

Did I keep my composure?

Did I find a previously unknown passion for flying?

Did I have an ethereal experience by suddenly recognizing I was in the heavens and just a little bit physically closer to God and find my bliss?

Well…

About half an hour into the flight I began feeling airsick and dizzy, causing a quick turnaround and emergency landing, with which upon said landing, I immediately locked myself inside the women’s restroom praying for the nausea to wear off.

Which it did.

20 minutes later.

It’s a tale as old as time: Girl meets amazing, hot and talented guy. Guy asks girl to go flying into the sunset together. Girl nearly tosses her cookies in front of amazing, hot and talented guy.

I know, right? Every female’s dream.

Now, it’s safe to say that Pilot probably wasn’t expecting such an extreme reaction. He probably chalked it up to general nerves for anyone flying in a small plane for the first time.

Well, he met his match with me. I don’t think the idea of a nearly-vomiting-and-potentially-passing-out-seatmate being on his list of experiences.

Once I recovered, having (thankfully) NOT actually getting sick, I splashed some cool water on my face, washed my hands and exited the restroom, wondering to myself if Pilot was even going to look me in the eye, or if he could even face me.

Pilot stood there with a sheepish grin on his face and a small 7Up.

Aww.

Me: <takes 7Up.>

Pilot: Sip that, slowly.

Me: <mumbles something similar sounding to a ‘thank you’.>

Pilot: <gestures to couch in lounge of airport.>

Me: <sits tentatively.>

Pilot: How are you feeling?

Me: <sipping gently on 7Up.> Better.

Pilot: So… Flying. Not your favorite thing?

Me: <blushes… or would if color had returned to face yet.> <shakes head.> Nope, sorry. <raises eyebrow, and gives watery smile.> Um, did the phrase, “I hate flying. It scares me shitless” ring any bells?

Pilot: <laughs gently.> Oh, yeah.  <pauses.> You really weren’t kidding were you?

Me: <panic sets in.>

Oh God! Oh God! I ruined this! He’s going to dump me, isn’t he? He probably wants some blonde-painted-up-flight-attendant-who-weighs-88-lbs-with-contotionist-yoga-instructor-moves with whom he can fly around the world!

That’s it! I’m done for! He’s so cute; I’m never going to meet another guy as hot as this one! Why, oh WHY did I let him talk me into flying?!

DAMN MY EQUILIBRIUM!!!

Me: <shrugs and laughs lightly as if it ‘ain’t no thang.’> Well, what you see, and hear, is what you get.

Pilot: Good. I like girls who don’t play games.

Me: <balks in surprise.>

Pilot: <tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear.> Well, I’ll just have to take that into consideration the next time we go up.

Me: <whatever color had returned pales again.>

Pilot: <laughs.> Don’t worry, we’ll go when you’re ready.

It may not surprise you, that his response had surprised me. Granted, I was (very) new to dating, but I was pretty sure a girl puking on one of her first dates with a guy did not have an equivalent to “when’s our next date?”

So what did we learn here today, Precious Readers?

I learned that there really are nice guys out there, even the ridiculously hot ones, and Pilot learned to take what I say at face value. What I say may not always be pretty, but he’ll never have any guesswork.

What has been one of your most embarrassing moments while on a date? Or, what is the worst thing that ever happened to you while on a date? Share your stories and comments here!

Believe me, from the story above you’ll receive no judgment from me!

he may not wear red underwear, but i’m ok with that

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh, wait… Yeah, it IS a plane. Never mind. <Shrug.>

Although it may technically be Sept. 15th at 1:00am, I’m still living in the past 24-hours of it being Sept. 14th. Sept. 14th marks one of the greatest days in history.  It’s Pilot’s birthday.

There are many reasons why I love Pilot, but this post would never be finished. So, instead, I thought I would write about why Pilot excels far beyond Superman.

1. He’s a sexy nerd.  Clark Kent was a mild-mannered English nerd. Writing for The Daily Planet, Mr. Superman himself was the geeky guy of the office, just short of Jimmy the photographer.  You may think that the reason I call my husband, Pilot is because his job is being a pilot. Well you’d be wrong.  Pilot is actually a special-education teacher. To this day, he amazes me his ability to connect with students who experience an exceptionally difficult time with learning, or developing the skills needed to improve. His love for science and math knows no bounds, to which I thank God for because I can’t succeed in science and math to save my life (although he and I did very well in an astronomy class together.

Me: What a great night! Ellensburg’s skies are so clear!

Pilot: Yeah! Here, let’s go to this field and setup. I’ll pour the hot chocolate.

Passerby 1: Hey! Is that a bong? It’s huge!

Me: <indignant, setting hands on hips and frowning.> No, it is not a bong. It’s a telescope. See? <points to eyepiece.>

Passerby 2: Sweet! Party time! <calls to friends in distance.> Hey! Check this chick out! She has the biggest bong I’ve ever seen!

Me: It is NOT a bong! It is a highly functional TELESCOPE! Look! You can see Venus and Mars, right there!

Passerby 1: Cool! It’s multi-functional!

Me: <shakes fist, screeching at Passersby 1 & 2.> Listen, cretins! Just because you’ve lost some brain cells does not mean you need to corrupt mine with your incessant insistence that my telescope is a device for drug use!

Passerby 2: Way to party little lady <pats the top of my head.>

Me: Argh!

Pilot: Sweetie, I think it’s time we move to a different field.

Just as Superman disguises himself to be a simple and plain man, but is all super-hunky man of steel in reality, my Pilot is a seemingly boy-next-door guy, but is superhero to children and helping them have a fighting chance in this world.  Plus, listening to him explain space’s gravitational patterns for each planet with his toothy-white grin is sexy as hell.  And besides, I’m the (maybe not-so-mild-mannered) English nerd in this relationship.

2. Ok, so he does fly a little bit. Like Superman, my Pilot is also, well a pilot. Before Washington changed its laws of age limitations for obtaining a pilot’s license, he took his first flying lesson at the tender age of 13. He literally flew a plane before ever driving a car. The way he’s better than Superman, is that for me to go flying with him, I don’t have to worry about someone looking up m nightie and freezing my crumpets off from the high altitude because I’m contained inside an ACTUAL airplane.

Me: <holds down ‘push-to-talk’ button> Wow! I’m flying an airplane… And I’m scared shitless right now. You can take the steering back now!

Pilot: <laughs.> You only had it for two seconds.

Me: <holds down ‘push-to-talk’ button and glares at Pilot.> Two seconds too long… Ooh! Nice yoke-work, Bacher! Why don’t you use those hands somewhere else?

Pilot: Sweetie, you need to stop pressing the ‘push-to-talk’ button because you just announced that to all local flying aircraft and the Tower.

Tower: Cessna 5210-AML, you’re clear to land… If your hands aren’t too busy.

Random pilot sharing airspace with us: <chuckles.>Yes, please keep your hands to yourself, Sweetie.

Me: <holds ‘push-to-talk’ button> Umm… I think they heard me.

Pilot: You’re still holding the ‘push-to-talk’ button, Sweetie.

Me: <still holding ‘push-to-talk’ button.> Oh. Sorry.

3. He has superpowers. No not actual, born an alien or dipped in toxic waste superpowers. But with one look he can provide a multitude of things: reassurance, giggle-inducing hysteria, empathy, one of the few people who can make me shut up once in a while if I’ve said something [insert favorite word here, such as weird, odd, annoying, ridiculous, etc.], and the occasional heat-induced glance that magically makes my clothes disappear. (Hey, don’t judge. I’m married and Superman had x-ray vision.  You really don’t think that Superman didn’t use it to his advantage just once?)

4. He’s talented. As Clark Kent was a journalist and fairly decent reporter, my Pilot is also extremely gifted.  Separate from his teaching and flying gigs, my Pilot is also an aviation photographer. Even better, he’s a good one!  Pilot has been published in a few magazines over the last couple of years, and also has written several blurbs on the aircraft subject in question.  He has a successful Facebook page and YouTube account where he also posts videos of his work, narrating and adding factoids to the videos for viewers to enjoy.

5. Lastly, but not at all in the least, he’s romantic. Superman had ladies drooling for decades, most of all a Ms. Lois Lane. And in this case, this little writer wised-up and realized that a kind, quiet and talented man was interested in me and I jumped at the chance at love, never regretting a day since. Thankfully, Pilot has made this relationship really easy on me by being just completely wonderful and supportive, even if I post stuff like this on the all-knowing interwebs. Even if the first Valentine’s Day card I ever received from him was signed, “I don’t care what they say. I think you’re pretty nice,” causing a temporary 2-hour argument between us.

Happy Birthday, Pilot! And I don’t care what they say, I think you’re pretty nice, too.

<blows kiss.>

Daily Writing Challenge

Day 14: FREE DAY! Write any scene you want!

Dear Diary,

Today I met the most impossible of all human beings! There I was, walking through the bookstore trying to keep my nonchalant, “Yes, of course I’m in the self-help section-there’s-nothing-wrong-with-that-it’s-a-perfectly-normal-thing-to-do” face. So what if I’m pushing into my latter-thirties and newly single? If someone wanted to excel in their profession, they would study for it. If someone was to perform a self tune-up of their car, they would buy a guide. So why not buy a book to help accelerate changing my single status?

While wandering the bookstore, trying to find a decently large covered book to disguise my purchase with, I bumped into a man at the mysteries/thrillers section.

“Oh! Excuse me,” I said slightly blushing at the blatant lack of focus on where I was going.

“Not at all, pardon me,” he replied. I took in the light hair and blue eyes framed by some very nice looking professor’s glasses. He was tall, wearing a slim fitting navy blue sweater and jeans. Hellooo Dr. Jones!

His head tilted slightly as he tried to glance at the title of my self-help-for-singles book, Single? So What? guide which had decided to hide itself behind my back.

“You know, if you want a really good read, you should try I’m Single and I Know It, instead.”

I blushed at the recommendation.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said tucking a strand of my plain brown hair behind my ears. “I’m looking for a thrill- I mean, looking for thrillers. Oh look, there’s a great one!” I say as I pluck a random book from the shelf to the right of me.

He tilts his head to the side. “Hmm… So you’re into swashbuckling pirates who stealthily rip the bodices off of young maidens, huh? I would’ve pegged you more knights-in-shining-armor kind of woman.” I raise my eyebrows at the book I had just selected.

Sure enough, there was a shirtless pirate and a young wench who apparently had no problem or apparent discomfort from having her breasts shoved up to her chin, while the pirate’s swarthy hands were undoing the ties to the back of her very cumbersome looking satin corset. Quickly glancing up to the empty space that held the damning evidence of my random selection, I realized the shelf on my right had been historical romance instead of mystery/thriller. Shit and double shit!

“You know, all you need is a glass of wine and you’re probably set for the night,” he said winking of me.

Eyes narrowing, “Why of all the nerve! I-” I pause to straighten my back at this very nosy and appalling man.  I closed my eyes for a moment taking a deep, calming breath.

“Once again, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am merely grabbing some reading material as a gag birthday gift for my friend, Lizzy, if you must know.” No need for him to find out that Lizzy is actually my dog named after my favorite romantic heroine, Elizabeth Bennett.

“Of course, my mistake,” he said, having the nerve to smile at me.

“Well, thank you. Now, if you don’t mind. I need to have these presents gift wrapped. I’m very busy and important, and must be going now. Ta!” Turning on my heel, I pause at the sound of his voice.

“Fantastic! I was busy getting this for my brother. We’ll go to gift wrapping together!” He said grinning at me.  Of all the rotten luck. Two years without a man and now I can’t get away from this one!

Together, we both walk to the gift-wrapping center’s counter and hand our items over to the customer service rep.

“Sorry about your friend. Is she going through a tough breakup right now?”

“Huh?” I blink at him.  “Oh! Yes!  Um… Right… Well, she’s recently gone through a divorce, which she’s very happy about, and is throwing herself a divorce shower,” I quickly spat out.  We both take our nicely wrapped presents, his book in pretty forest green with a gold ribbon, mine in a patterned wrapping paper covered in random letters of the alphabet and red ribbon.

“A divorce shower?” he says amused at my frustration.  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that before.  What exactly does one do at a divorce shower?”  Oh come on! Can’t I just live this humiliation in peace? It’s bad enough I resorted to self-help guides, but does it really need to have a commentary squad like Mystery Science Theater 3000?

“Well it’s- um…” I sigh and throw my hands up in the air, waiving my ‘gift’ in the air. “Oh, hell. We both know the book is for me.  Look, it’s been a little nerve-wracking catching my bloody husband in my bed with my sister and I haven’t had sex in two years, all right?”

The man’s eyes widened as he stared at me.  A woman who had been waiting in line for the gift-wrapping services looked extremely uncomfortable.  “Um… I think I forgot to comb my cat…” she said as she inched away from us slowly, and then bursting into a slight sprint towards the main door.

I felt my face burning as red as a hooker in church.  Also waiting for him to run away from the crazy-cat-lady vibe I was giving off; to my surprise he actually was pretty nice about the whole freak-out scene.

“Wow. That must have been awful. Are you ok?” he spoke softly, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, deep in thought. All they did was focus on his glasses which were straightforward black frame, emphasizing the blue-ness of his eyes.

Another deep sigh escaped my lips. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry about that. I had just moved here for him because he was offered a job at Boeing. We were living with my sister until we could find our own place.  Then… Well, you know…” my voice drifted off as I felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes.

“I’m really sorry.  Was just teasing before, but if I’d known…” he gave a slight shrug and palms up gesture of apology.

“It’s all right. Sorry for going all berserker on you,” I smile slightly.

He stifled a snicker, “Berserker? You’ve seen Clerks?”

“Of course, hasn’t everyone? I mean, Kevin Smith may be raunchy, a little out of my comfort zone sometimes, but nonetheless is an insightful writer and commentator of life in our generation,” I state matter-of-factly.

The man stares at me again, this time in wonderment. “Wow, I think I may have fallen in love with you a little bit. Most women can’t look past goofy comedy movies like that.”

“Oh… Well, that’s just, really nice,” I say flustered at this man’s response.

“I’m Elliot. Elliot Helmsworth,” he says sticking his hand out to me.  Grasping his palm, I reply, “Claire. Claire Whitmore.”